FUCKING PAIN!!!

OMG my tooth hurts so bad that it hurts my nose and my ear and the one side of my head like… like… i don’t know something that hurts insanely bad. It’s to the point that i almost want to take a pair of pliers and rip the damn thing out so that i will have some kind of… well damn it would still hurt either way but make it stop please!.

On top of it all my tattoo that i had worked last weekend will not stop itching… ahh the healing process. It’s annoying and it burns and it itches and i cannot touch it!

So with my tooth and my tattoo i had to work till 9 tonight to get caught up on shit. oh well it got done and it is less that i have to do later on down the road… my greatest fear at the moment is that i will not get any sleep because of the fact that i have this damn pain in both my back (tattoo) and my mouth/head (tooth).

fuck -_-

giving up

So i have decided that Hahn is just a bad person for me. I mean come on, really what kind of decent man would do the things that he does to me. Why would someone be affectionate one moment and cold the next. Why would they only act as if they wanted to be with me when we are alone, and ignore me when we are out with friends…. why…. one thing comes to my mind… The sex. In all honesty i think that that is all that he saw in me from day one. I am not going to make myself upset over some guy who doesn’t seem to understand that it is not ok to go around fucking with peoples emotions. So i am giving up… this is my official declaration.

Don’t get me wrong. I still want to be friends with the guy… and i am sure that much we are both ok with. I just need to spend some time away and get my thoughts in order before i see him again.

Other than that there is not a hell of a lot that has been going on. I went and saw Babylon A. D. the other night… it sucked. Then again take a look at the cast. But it wasn’t as bad as mirrors was so at least i wouldn’t classify it as a TOTAL waste of 8 bucks. GOD the price of a movie ticket now a days is insane!

My four day weekend is coming to an end and i am both happy and sad about it. Happy because it means that i will be able to start doing things other than sitting around my room watching One Piece. Sad because it means that i will have to leave my room and face the outside world.

I wish i was back in Korea when things were sucky as far as work went but i enjoyed my days off. I miss writing in some random cafe with Fi… i miss the train system… lol then again that is because i miss my car T_T

I had a doctors appointment last Thursday about my wrist. it seems that the cyst has yet to go away and i have to start the whole process for sugary over again. but with any luck it will be a bit quicker this time than it was last time.

Classes for school start on the 8th… and i don’t even have the money for my textbooks. I am going to be broke as hell this month so there is no way that i am able to afford text books, not when they want 300 bucks for 2. i may have to drop my language course until next semester and just leave the math one. I am sure that i can work with my teacher on that… maybe.

SOS

Ok so i understand the fact that i can be funny and cute when i want to be, but really people what part of “There is only one guy that i want to be with at the moment” can you not understand? Now i have his co-owner, 2 of his brothers, one of his band mates, and two people that i work with all trying to get with me at the same time. ALL I WANT IS FOR HAHN TO SEE ME NOT YOU PEOPLE… at least not like that.

It is getting very irritating because anytime that i go to hang out with Hahn, at least Chris and Danny are there. It got to the point where he actually text me to ask if i wanted to go and see a move… but not to let the others know. It’s a little crazy actually.

As far as any progress on us dating… there is little to none. Other than the fact that he sounded a little upset when he was telling me that there were other people hitting on me. Still i will keep at it LOL.

Anywho, i went and saw Death Race with Hahn on Friday night. It was good, well better than i thought it would be and no it is not just because i was wrapped up in his arms through the movie. The plot was ok, and the action was in abundance. Not one of those movies that i would recommend wasting large sums of money on, just wait for the DVD and rent it.

This Thursday or Friday (cause it’s a four day weekend this weekend *does happy dance*) I am going to go see The Rocker. Hahn went and saw it already and said that it was funny as hell. So now i want to see it… as for now… i have early formation and a headache so i am heading to bed.

If you know how to sort out my guy trouble let me know please… because apparently me telling them is not enough T_T

I think, therefor i am dangerous.

Last night i had a good time, although i didn’t mean to go out at all.

Hahn had a book that i wanted to pick up from the store. in all honesty my only intention was to go there, get the book and get out. Let’s face it… i really like Hahn he is a very sweet, honest, and VERY good looking guy but i know that he doesn’t like me the same way, therefor i am trying to limit the amount of time that i spend with him… at least i was.

Chris, one of Hahn’s employees knows that i didn’t want to go back to post last night because i would do nothing but sit in my room and be depressed, yes once again i feel the stress of life *sigh*. Anyway, Chris suggested that we all go out to get sushi last night and i went, and must say i had a very good time.

When we got back to the shop (to pick up the cars) Hahn blocked me in and started to talk to me about the shit that was bothering me. In all honesty i am easy to read. He tried to make me feel better, but in the end all i could do was call him an asshole for kissing me.

Although i wasn’t upset at the fact that he kissed me it was more or less the fact that he knows that i like him and he still does shit like that. But i guess that i am a glutton for punishment because i am supposed to be going out to see, yet another, movie with him tonight.

“WE people spend almost all our efforts searching, longing, wanting and waiting for love, but more often than not, we fail to see it. Though, surprisingly, at a point in our lives, at a point where we least expect, at a time when it’ll have the most impact, it literally throws itself towards you, pounds on your door, and says, “Here I am, take me, I’m yours. “ When that instance comes, would you dare turn away from it? Would you say, “Not now, maybe later?” Wouldn’t you take the chance, thinking the opportunity may never come again?”

Tropic Thunder and other useless information

I went and saw Tropic Thunder last night with a few friends. The movie was funny as hell. It is worth seeing! Hahn (john’s actual name… i figured i should start using it seeing as how that is what i call him XD) was supposed to go with us but unfortunately he couldn’t. I was a little down about that but still i had a good time anyway.

It is once again Monday… but at least this Monday is starting out better than last Monday. For that much i am thankful! My foot is glass free so the 3 mile run this morning didn’t cause my foot to bleed like the last one did. And although the pace was so slow i could have walked it, it was a nice easy workout that at least raised my heart rate so i know i got some kind of cardio out of it… although i wanted more.

Still no word on the jeep yet, i remain hopeful… that some act of god will happen and they will be like… OK Miss Harris your car is ready… by like… Today would be nice, although i know it will not happen.

I guess i haven’t really mentioned what i am writing at the moment. I didn’t notice that until Fionn said something. I am not really writing anything other than information for work at this point in time because i don’t have time. But my hopes are that i will get everything that i need to get done, done by November first so that i can do NaNoWriMo. I have a plot line worked out for that though… although there are still somethings that i have to work out and finish planing.

Ok shower is finally warm and calling me. q.(^_^).p

Mirrors

To let you all know the movie sucked monkey balls. I feel bad because i am the one that asked John to go see it with me then there were 6 of us all going together and john paid for all the tickets… to a movie we both didn’t like.

America… ah the way we have the ability to take a damn good Japanese horror movie and fuck it up big time. Wooo.

Anywho nothing much is going on with me i guess. i am still carless, although i have been informed by the insurance company that i will have it back in 2 to 3 weeks… man this sucks. I am quickly learning that Fayettville is nothing like Korea where you could get away without a car and all you had to do was ride a train…. no now i have to ask for rides and shit… it’s annoying as hell!

Ok lunch has arrived… i must eat

Ja

1 Liter of Tears

The Japanese drama is appropriatly named, as i feel that i have cried at least one liter of tears while watching it. Now i just feel emotionally drained. Between being sick lately, watching sad dramas, stress at work, and getting stood up for a date it has been a rough week so far, but luckily it is almost the half way point and things will with any luck go better for me for the second half of the week.

I am still waiting to hear about my jeep, the insurance company took it last week to assess the damages. I hope to god that i will get it back… i can’t take this not driving beause i don’t have my car thing… it is killing me!

I really hope that everything gets better, i mean it should right. I am trying to stay positive, lets see how it works.

Well on the plus side of things the people that were making my NBC room finished this afternoon. I now have a room with four walls, a door, and a light. Now all i need is a computer, cabinets, shelves, a desk, and various other small things and i will be on a roll.

Anywho i am heading to bed… i have a 4 mile ruck march in the morning. Whoever thought that it would be a good idea to start doing ruck marches every Wednesday morning should be shot on site.

Just an update

I still have glass in my foot

I have been sick all day

I officially have no money in the bank

I am falling behind on this weeks work (already)

did i mention the glass is still in my foot?

I am an emotional wreck.

OH YEAH IT’S WITHOUT A DOUBT M-O-N-D-A-Y!!

But on the plus side i get to see John tomorrow…. q.(^_^).p

Monday Morning… joy!

OK i know sarcasm is something that is hard to get across on the Internet so if you couldn’t tell i am SOOOO not enthusiastic about it being Monday. I am not going to lie and say i had the most amazing weekend but it wasn’t so bad, and there is something that is just amazing about being able to sleep in as late as i want and not have to worry about anything.

But for some reason this Monday seems ten times worse than any other Monday i have experienced in my short 21.5 years of life on this earth. I mean i have only been awake for an hour, and i haven’t even made it to PT formation yet and i already just want to go back to bed!

My roommate woke me up when she came in this morning and ran around to get ready for her ungodly formation, I couldn’t fall back to sleep and when i do finally get back to bed her boyfriend keeps knocking on the door and won’t leave till someone answers it (mind you she is not here). I answer it and tell him she isn’t here and he doesn’t believe me! I got glass stuck in my foot from a bottle that i broke yesterday, and my tennis shoes are soaked through because i got caught in a rain storm last night!

Things just are not looking good for me today!

Of Asian Food, Bars, and A Night on the Town!

OK so maybe the whole night wasn’t as grand as the title says it was… but it was still awesome! Last night John, Daniel, Chris, Shaun, and some other friend of everyone else that i can’t remember his name right now, went out to eat last night.

I have fallen in love with sushi all over again, then again it has been a really long time since i had any. It was great. The only problem that i really had with dinner was that there was a lot of speaking in Japanese so i wasn’t really sure what was being said half of the time, but still all in all it was a good time so i am not complaining.

After that we all met up at Big Apple, some sports bar and club thing for a few drinks, it was loud and there were so many people that i kinda just wanted to shut myself off. I really don’t like that kind of place becuase it really gives me a headache. The music is just to loud, there are to many people, and i really don’t dance. John saw that i was uncomfortable and within half an hour of getting there we were out again. I was really relieved. I was also happy that he seemed to want to leave just as much i did.

After that we headed to some bar, i don’t remember the name, and had some food and drinks with Shuan and his girlfriend, me and John, and one of Shaun’s friends. It was kinda a celebration for Shaun because he is leaving the states and heading back home because he graduated in May and has a job lined up. So it was really good.

Then we ended up back at my place, and both john and i passed the hell out. Partly because i really needed some sleep because i didn’t really get any the night before, and partly due to the fact that i was a little tipsy. But it was nice to sleep next to a giant heater LOL. I feel a little bad though because we still didn’t get to bed any earlier than we did the night before and this time he is the one that had to wake up to be somewhere by 6 so he didn’t get much sleep either. Oh well, i told him it was pay back!

But for the time being i am a little hung over and think i wanna take a nap. JA!