Day 28

listening to: the traffic go by

Watching: nothing at the moment

Reading: some CBRN manuals

Writing: A plot rework for Red Dragon and a paper for philosophy

Location: Manama, Bahrain

 

Yeap you read that right it has ONLY been 28 days since i left the states… and gods does this shit suck monkey balls. Not just the regular kind of Monkey balls either, the kind that are hot and sticky from the god damn humidity here. Wow now i am sure that that put a great visualization in your head!

I finally got through that book for phi220 that Kant wrote, my god what a wordy bastard he is. Not to mention i think, personally that he is an idiot. Then again that is just me talking. I believe that there is more to being good than just a good will, or that it is possible to have morals and values without there always needing to be an selfish motive behind them.

So i now have to figure out what to write this paper on, if i want to write it on Kant or if i want to write it on an article that we had to read prior to Kant’s ramblings. The article was on the controversial topic (at least in England) about dwarf tossing, which is just as it’s name implies, the tossing of genetically height hindered people. Apparently the practice started in Australia as a contest between bar bouncers to see who was strongest. The things that people do.

Well i have till 8 before i call the hubby so i may as well take this 40 minutes and decide what i am going to do.

 

Nothing Much

Listening to: the prayers go off

Reading: Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals on a supposed right to lie because of philanthropic concerns by Immanuel Kant (for philosophy class)

Watching: Dexter

Working on: Past Due homework and staying mental stable!!

So really not a whole lot has happened in the last three weeks, but still a lot has happened. I mean a lot in the way of work because lord knows that there is not enough time in the day for me to spend personally! Corey and i have been married for two months… woot. Class is almost over/about to start. It’s still hard as hell to get a washer in this place. But other than all that there is nothing really going on. NaNoWriMo starts in less than a week and the chat room that i asked to be put in still has not. It’s a bit of an issue seeing as how i am the ML for such a large region this time. (By large i mean spread out) I feel like i am already failing my duties as an ML. Hopefully it will get better with time.

Hopefully!

I miss my Baby

Ok so part of me knows that i am being a little unfair to the other people that are here on deployment with me. I mean at least i got to bring my husband along. But at the same time, since i am sick as a dog, apparently, my husband has been coming over to check on me which i think is amazingly sweet. But the fact that i only get to see him for five or ten minutes out of a whole day is killing me. I mean i think it really would be a hell of a lot easier on me if I didn’t have to see him everyday. Not just that, becuase i know that it would kill me even more to know that he is just in the Villa behind me, that is what is really killing me. The fact that he is so damn close to me and yet my time with him is limited.

I really do miss my baby T_T

All Work and no Play

Listening to: the TV

Reading: Angela’s Ashes

Working on: Staying Sane

Watching: 300

~~~~~

So i am now down to the wire, my deployment starts in 18 days. In a way i am excited just because i want to get it over with. But then again there is the added stress that it is putting on me and Corey. The rushing around to find storage, having to get things shut off, find a hotel that will not kill us to live in for 2 weeks. Schoolwork, Army work, Personal work… work work work work work that is all my days consitst of now.

It is not that i am complaining. don’t get me wrong i am all about going on this deployment and making a little extra money in the process. I am just ready for it to be over with now. But i suppose that little can be done at the moment other than sit around and play the waiting game.

Things have been so hectic lately that i haven’t even been able to continue plotting out the rest of my story. Not that it even has a title yet but it does have a general outline which is better than nothing. I just wish that i had time to devote to that as well. Perhaps once things settle down a little and i get into a steady pace overseas everything will be just fine… maybe.

Hopefully.

Listening to: the TV

Reading: nothing at the moment

Working on: My Behavior Science Paper

Watching: Enchanted

Some serious thought…

My life… it sucks. And although i think that i am doing a good job of hiding this fact from myself on occasion, let’s face it… the truth hurts.

I mean yeah i know that i will be ok going to Iraq, but the idea of it annoys me more than anything else, although i am not really sure why that is. It’s not so much fear or the whole away from home and English bookstores for a year that bothers me, because i did that one last year to and had a blast, i think it is because my mother is actually worried about the fact that i am going over there. That is what is annoying me. I am not afraid to be blown up or shot at because i know that i signed that contract during a time of war, i will full-fill my duties inherent to that role, but it doesn’t mean i have to like it right?

I mean my mother is scared, the only time i can acctually remember her being over protective of me in my life. And she feels so hopeless because she knows that there is nothing she can do to stop me from going over there, i mean hell there is nothing i can do to stop myself from going.

I try to look at the bright side of things, i will be making a shit ton of non-taxable money, but at the same time is it really worth putting my life on the line for a war that we provoked? I mean really WMDs… PLEASE! *rolls eyes*

If i am going to be killed in combat i want to know that it is for the right reasons and not someones unjustifayable need to finnish daddies work.

*sigh* I am just fed up… with everything.

The war

Playing marriage counselor

lack of school

not getting journalism like i was promised (should be use to that though)

disappointing people

i just want it all to end. Not in the oh let me go kill myself way, but in the oh… can i please hit pause for a moment and run to get something to drink way (did that make sense to anyone other than me?)

Red Dragon first draft… done!

So i am happy about the fact that i have finished the first draft of Red Dragon… woot go me!

I am quickly learning how much i hate the editing process. Although, i must admit that some of it is my fault as it was written in one month and thus for some reason i switch tenses like nothing else! So it’s been a pain in the neck and a slow process but i am getting there.

I really don’t know how it is that Fi can do this for a living, although i love to write i am not a fan of going back over my work and seeing the amazing amount of loose plot lines that i have to fix. it is really annoying. But at the same time i feel like i may have finally accomplished something. I just hope that i can get it published!